Choonie-Moonies and a Trip to the Country
This is the first of the McDonut Tales featuring the legendary Choonie-Moonies, ancient protectors of the Eastern forests. They need illustrations to complete. The stories were imagined in the fashion of the classic Babar books.
Choonie-Moonies and a Trip to the Country
Choonie-Moonies appear only to be mischief makers who tease puppies and kittens and steal your leftover pizza. But they are much more than this and they honor their place in the ancient order as guardians of the harvest and friends to farmers everywhere. They are also happy workers at Snoop McDonuts with Annie and Misha because they love to see the smiles on children’s faces when they bite into the “tastiest donuts in the entire Universe.” This is a story of how they fulfilled their duty, yet still created the mischief they are famous for.
The Uncles were headed to the country to visit friends and family. The Choonie-Moonies were so excited, as it was autumn, their favorite time. “Us too, us too,” said the Choonie-Moonies. The uncles considered and finally uncle #1 said, “Oh well. What can it hurt? But you must all pee first. I will not stop for you to pee in the bushes and then have you run into the fields like wild rodents. We must see our Granny today, you silly rascals.”
Goodness, what a scene! Choonie-Moonies dancing like drunken hobbits in their joy to see the countryside again. “Please, please,” said the Uncles. “We will have to leave without you. Go pee now!” Such naughty ones. They are much too excited to pee and end up crawling all over the fixtures instead of doing their business. “Hey in there. Please flush and we must go. What a racket!” Out they tumble in a ball of fur chanting, “to the country, oh boy. To the country, oh boy.” “I am regretting this already,” says Uncle #1.
The poor neighbors look with concern as this wild bunch clambers into the back of the jeep. “The police will be here again. Mark my words. What rascals.” The poor Uncles shrug sadly and nod as they drive towards the countryside. Soon the Choonie-Moonies are squirming around and the little jeep is rocking. “Settle down you bunch. You promised to behave.” “But Uncles. We need to pee so badly. Please!”
“Aargh! You promised! What mischief is this? What were you doing in the loo?” “We are really sorry Uncles. We were much too excited to pee. Please help us!” “Fine. We will find some bushes. This is the country you munchkins. There are no gas stops here. But please be quick. We must see Granny today.” “Oh yes Uncles. We promise.”
Choonie-Moonies mean well and their intention is good, but they are much too excitable. The Uncles see a bush and pull over for their passengers. The naughty ones pile out and run into the trees, finding shelter where they might do their business. The Choonie-Moonies finish, but they cannot contain themselves. They run wildly into the forest dancing and spinning in their joy to be back in the country. Suddenly at the edge of the field, they stop. “Shhhhhh. Did you hear that? It is kittens. We will have so much fun teasing them. Let’s follow that sound.”
There in the thick wheat is a little opening where they see a pathetic sight. The poor little ones are in a furry bundle mewling terribly. “Where is our Mommy? Oh dear, where is our Mommy?” The Choonie-Moonies see that their fun has been spoiled. “They have lost their Mommy. Goodness little ones. What has happened to your Mommy?” The boldest little kitten steps forward from the fur ball and says, “Bad men captured us and put us in a sack and here we are. Oh my. What will happen to us?” The Choonies are appalled. It is true that they enjoy teasing puppies and kittens, but they are really soft hearted. “This is terrible. How could bad men do this to these poor innocents? Quickly. We must find the Uncles. They will know what to do.”
The Choonie-Moonies each take a kitten and tuck it in their fur and hurry back on the path they came. “Be still little ones. We will help. Where oh where are those Uncles?” Further on towards the road, the two Uncles are shouting as well. “Come back here. Where are you little monsters?” Just then the frantic Choonies round the corner and bump into the Uncles. Suddenly we have kittens and Uncles and Choonies spilling everywhere. “What have you been doing, you silly ones? Can’t you pee near the road?” But the Choonies are very clever. “No Uncles please. We heard kittens and we ran to rescue them. Bad men have stolen them from their Mommy. See!” “Goodness. Who would do such a thing? They are even worse than you little scoundrels. Come along. Don’t cry little ones. Our Baba knows every cat for miles around. She will find your Mommy.”
What a ride! Choonie-Moonies cooing softly. Kittens mewling for their Mommy. The poor Uncles trying to shush this symphony. “Here is the turn to Granny’s. Thank goodness we are here. What a performance!”
Granny is on the porch enjoying the afternoon breeze with a cup of tea. All the doors of the jeep open suddenly and everyone piles out talking at once. “Please, please. One at a time. It was so peaceful only a moment ago.”
“Baba, baba. These kittens have been kidnapped. We were sure that you could help.” “Of course sillies. Bring them in. Look, the poor things are starving. Let me make some warm milk. Stop this fuss right now. Poor babies.” Soon the hungry ones are slurping up their milk. “Now lads. Tell your story.” The Uncles repeat the misadventures of the Choonie-Moonies and wait breathlessly for Baba to speak. “Do you know their Mommy? Shall we drive to your neighbors and ask everyone?” “What a foolish idea. I will fetch my iPad. We have a website named Kitten Watch. Drive Uncles? We have too many neighbors. You are so old fashioned. We will take a picture of these pretties and we will wait for a reaction.”
Granny brings her iPad, but all of the kittens are curled up beside their bowls sleeping. “Goodness, says Granny. How cute. This will be easy!”
“Now everyone. Let us enjoy the breeze. I will make more tea and we will wait.” It is not very long later when “beep beep dong,” says the iPad. “See everyone how easy it is. The neighbor has been frantic. She will fetch their Mommy and come over for her kittens at once.”
And sure enough, a Lada pulls up and out bounds a black and white spotted kitty. Everyone drives Ladas in the country because it is important to have only the best. “In here dear,” says Granny. Sure enough, these are her kittens. What a wonderful reunion! The happy neighbor explains that there have been so many kitten thefts since bad men began making war on the country. “Well you have the Choonie-Moonies to thank Irina. They have fulfilled their duty.” The Choonies are so proud. “We will never tease kittens again......’til the next time....hehehe. But Granny. We are so hungry after our adventure. Could we have perogies?” “All right you little imps. You have done well. I will make perogies.” “We love the country, oh boy. We love perogies, oh boy.” It is a happy ending for everyone.
“But don’t forget to pee before we leave for the city. What rascals!” say the Uncles.
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